a rather hectic week...

well i think the heading is a bit of an understatement... it has been a hectic week, but at the same time it's been a hectic and emotion-filled few weeks, months even... i wish it were
easier to show people how i'm going. Emotionally i'm doing ok now. the stress of assignments at the moment along with everything else is a bit icky, but when you put it together with everyone else it's really not an issue... lots of fun stuff has been going on with me and one of my friends which has resulted in many joy-filled conversations and some planning along with some great girly fun but i honestly wonder whether i'd be better off not thinking about that sometimes... it can be painful, you know? i know that you can't really understand what i'm talking about, but i think it's better for me to be a little cryptic since i don't want to hurt anyone, but at the same time i don't want people to know what's going through my head. i find it really hard to open up to people yet at the same time, i know that i need to...

i keep doing stupid things... if you know me you might understand what i mean... assignments, talking to people who only hurt me, saying stupid stuff to the people who love me which only upsets them, leaving my talks to the hour before they need to be done... maybe i'm just an irresponsible idiot who should be punished for all the bad things she does... and then what about the things i do which hurt myself... oh wait, i'm not supposed to talk about this stuff because it might upset people... wow, letting people actually get to know what a wretch i really am, can't believe they wouldn't want to!


maybe if you don't want to read this kind of stuff, from past experience you should just stay away from me! honestely, i really don't think it should offend you that the things i choose to write when i'm not really thinking about anything... i really want to do something fun... i just don't have the time!